Yet but Kept Looking

but I couldn't see the screen through the sun
and what I wrote came out
in weird colors
and not what I wrote, but
what was unsaid
squinting

you held me from behind in the doorway
which was nice
and my breathing filled the alcove
like we were the
same person

you have orange hair now
the canary singing in the sun
pink hooves on the futon rug
sunset to the south

gets hot upstairs
I put the screen back in


2011

Joan of Arden at Logjam Lake

How much abuse can a cracked gasket Pontiac take?
Still with white smoke from the exhaust pipe, though
at least the red radiator light went off. A sign.

You guessed black jack on the black joker face down.
Check that air tire, check that spare tire, gas up.
Nobody around for K's. Breathtaking beautiful.

We had two life-altering moments then. Going on,
not knowing if anyone's looking or not. And taking
the initiative to walk toward me instead of waiting.

Spurned the neighbor's garage campfire. Stayed home
and brushed and parted your hair instead. Looked
at the new backroads map in bed. Born for trucking.


2011

Like the Scene from Halloween

Nights like these we
wake up gasping, calling
for the light, looking for
our glasses. But this night
you were on the sofa
muttering

"I can't go down like this,
can't go down like that, I
don't have the stamina for it,
I don't got the heart" and
you started singing your
little honeybee song.

When it comes it's a flash
of being cold and alone outside
touching cold metal, a cold metal
bar, being alone outside touching
cold monkey bars. Falling asleep
rolling down the home stretch.

Then the second flashback
which goes straight to
your parents' bedroom.
Because you could kick in
the bathroom door. That's
exactly where I'd hide in.

Then a spider climbs down the
white eel curtain from the dark
while you're looking out the window,
so we play backgammon instead. You
win the match but I take the set
and you come back to bed.


2011

Maybe if I Was Stupid

Hoot hoot hoot
here comes the news
hope you like it.

Your girlfriend is crazy
you got a wild one
how could you have known?

Got nervous, got upset
got all hot,
cold clammy hot.

Causing all this attention
tits were probably flying
rode her fire on the rail.

Yellow flowers on the sidewalk
whiskey cup by the sugar jar
who is king at rocking it PG style.

Nothing nobody thinks matters
I answer to the one armed bandit
and I've got my safety fingers up.


2011

Daddy Approves

Weevils in the mantle.
You fall on your face,
bleed off cycle.
The senator calls,
recovering from unknown surgery.
Your stomach turns.
Meeting soon to sign papers.
Husband renting a room.
A vessel,
flat on your back in a field.
No locks on the bathroom doors.
Therapies, panic attack.
Going to the lawyer.
Ambivalent, not feeling stimulated.
Help, reassurance, to be heard.
Lied about the garden show.
Spider in the shower.
Got your period for
the second time in a month.
Cleaning out granny's apartment.
Two cigarettes.
Raccoons in the tree.
Love to eat the mousies.


2011

Magnolia and Hyacinth

Used to be there were
toads everywhere. I could
go get a toad anytime I wanted.

Then we killed the red
ant scout.

Now I'm tentative and you're
cautious. And I

don't really want either
of those things but it sounded
like a bargain so I had to
take it.

I'm not something to cling to
in the storm, baby. I'm
something that runs.

I hear ducks. I must be
hearing things. Here they
are again.


2011

A Fresh of Breath Air

Dark clouds above the jagged treeline,
only a thin ribbon of clear light. But
I know there's aqua and white above it,
gold with red behind us. Purple, pink
and blue along the sides for miles.

Crisscrossing wires intersect clouds
below mountains on quiet streets after
the rain. Low full moon with a shy face
for this morning you had me going you
were pregnant, an early April's fool.


2011